have you ever felt torn between something you should do,and something your heart tells you to? have you ever had to chose? well, i am going through my head, my heart, and my weird stressed out emotions thinking about what my friend said about guys. here is the quote: "If you just quit looking, then the right guy will find you, and you will be happy." well, i have news for my friend, ITS NOT WORKING! i love this friend to death, and i tell her most everything, but has she just not been paying attention? i mean, waiting does no good for me. i HATE being single. hate it! tired of it! i asked her how far she thinks i might slip up, she said that i would not slip up that bad, but the potential is always there. damn it all! why am i even here?! how have i continued to survive this long?! and why? why? am i still hung over a guy? did he give me that much? or was he just the one i was flatered with, and flatered of? i dont even get to talk with him!!!! why must i fall for guys that dont give a shit about me? i was writing a poem after class, waiting for my mom, and it was about him. i was sooo pissed, i wanted to burn the note. but it is still in my binder, in my room. whatever.

bye for now.